Search This Blog

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

Despite these types of infidelity, there are also 5 types of affairs:

Conflict avoidance affair- most affairs fall under this category. A lot of couples have avoided discussing some issues that could save their marriage. They tend to shy away from discussing these issues since they feel that they will end up with conflict. For instance, if there is an instance of sex dissatisfaction, couples will tend to ignore this issue. This leads to one of the spouse to have an affair.Intimacy Avoidance Affair - Married couples whose emotional connection is through frequent and intense conflict will often become involved in an affair. These couples are the mirror opposite of those who avoid conflict. Problems pile up, one on top of the other. Issues are not resolved, and the marriage erodes. An affair is an easy way to escape the conflict and problems in the marriage.Split self affair – individuals under this category have fought had and made every sacrifices to save on their marriage. However, there is one spouse who has long term infidelity. The partner who is having the affair concentrates on deciding between the marriage and the affair partner. This mainly happens with men compared to women. Sexual Addiction Affair – sex addicts use sex over and over again to express their anger and disappointments. They are just similar to Alcoholics. Exit Affair – This is where one of the spouses uses infidelity as a justification to get out of a marriage. The spouse tends to blame the faithful partner of not communicating. Cyber Affairs - Internet affairs pose an interesting situation for couples, and for couple’s therapists to deal with. The availability of these types of affairs pose an incredible amount of opportunity for both men and women to become involved in interactions that typically involve sexually suggestive messages and pictures being exchanged, and even mutual masturbation through webcams. Some participants deny these behaviors are really affairs because there is no physical contact and they never actually meet one another. However, many of these affairs have an emotional connection. Also, even when the cyber affair is purely sexual, the impact on one’s spouse can be just as devastating as an in-person affair. Engaging in online affairs and other cyber-sex activities results to a person’s partner to feel insecure, in need of help for the relationship, and to exhibit feelings of trauma, just as in a “real” physical affair. Indeed, Mileham (2007) noted that about one-third of all divorces now include allegations regarding cybersex activities and/or online affairs. The involved person who engages in internet infidelity develops a pattern of lying about the activity, decreases communication with the noninvolved spouse, decreases sexual activity with the spouse, and devotes less time to the family in general. It becomes a distraction to everyday issues. Atwood notes it is much easier to go online and find emotional support from strangers than it is to face real issues in a marriage. People who participate in cyber-sex can be classified into three categories: 1) recreational, 2) at-risk, and 3) compulsive. The compulsive user can be obsessive, and at times, this progression happens rapidly. Cyber-flirting is the first and the common type of cyber-sex. This is done online through the use of explicit videos and instant messages. Cyber-sex involves the exchange of sexual conversations and videos and even pictures. For some, this cyber-sex takes the place of sex with their spouse. Nonetheless, at this stage, most individuals believe that it is not affecting their relationship with their spouse as it is not real. Cyber-affairs result when the two people involved begin to have an emotional connection. They may spend hours chatting back and forth or writing emails. They may speak on the phone, and it may even progress to meeting in person. Internet affair easily promotes these kind of affairs because: Cyber-infidelity is anonymous. The privacy of this forum allows people to open up to others with little fear of getting caught by your spouse. Internet activity involves a great deal of projection. Users can easily project an ideal self from a computer screen and others can see and believe what they want about the other person. This has made the levels of infidelity in our society to rise. The tendency for people to engage in triangulated relationships as a way to reduce tension and anxiety within a relationship is a well-known phenomenon. For some people, the object of the triangle may be children or a job. The lure of the internet is that it offers a 24/7 way to reach out to others to flirt anonymously, to achieve this type of tension reduction in an almost effortless way, and to greatly increase a person’s ability to engage in these triangles. Moreover, Individuals with issues of intimacy are more engaged in cyber-sex. The basic issues that keep them from fully connecting to their spouse makes the seemingly quick and easy intimacy of cyber relationships attractive. The ordeals that spouses tend to shy from discussing become easier to share through the internet. This is usually brought by poor communication. The advancement of emails and chat rooms have also facilitated to this problem. This has increased levels of cyber affairs in the modern society.